peek a boo

Who can't smile when they hear her sweet giggles?
We love our sweet Monkey!

Happy 1/2 birthday baby girl!
I can hardly remember life without you and it certainly is better WITH you!

peek a boo

Who can't smile when they hear her sweet giggles?
We love our sweet Monkey!

Happy 1/2 birthday baby girl!
I can hardly remember life without you and it certainly is better WITH you!

together

Can you hold me together? Can your love reach down this far?

Can you hold me together? 'Cause without you holding my heart, I'm falling apart.
I'm falling apart.

And love will hold us together, make us a shelter to weather the storm.

'Cause even the dark you can still see the light. It's gonna be alright. 

It's gonna be alright.

Anyone can feel the ache, you think it's more than you can take.

But you are stronger, stronger than you know.
Don't you give up now, the sun will soon be shining.

You gotta face the clouds to find the silver lining.

I've seen dreams that move the mountains.
Hope that doesn't ever end, even when the sky is falling.
And I've seen miracles just happen.
Silent prayers get answered.

Broken hearts become brand new.

That's what faith can do.

When the world says you can't, it'll tell you that you can.
That's what faith can do.

Serious illness. Financial stress. Scary Pregnancy/Delivery. Deployments.
Whatever life throws our way...


Our God is greater, our God is stronger.
Our God is healer, awesome and power.
And if our God is for us, then who can ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against us?

He gave us each other.
When we are weak, He will make us strong.

Together we can get through anything.
I love you, Sarge.

** Thank you KLove morning show (with Mandisa in for Lisa) for playing the perfect soundtrack at just the right time.  Lyrics from Royal Tailor, Matt Maher, Kutless, and Chris Tomlin.

together

Can you hold me together? Can your love reach down this far?

Can you hold me together? 'Cause without you holding my heart, I'm falling apart.
I'm falling apart.

And love will hold us together, make us a shelter to weather the storm.

'Cause even the dark you can still see the light. It's gonna be alright. 

It's gonna be alright.

Anyone can feel the ache, you think it's more than you can take.

But you are stronger, stronger than you know.
Don't you give up now, the sun will soon be shining.

You gotta face the clouds to find the silver lining.

I've seen dreams that move the mountains.
Hope that doesn't ever end, even when the sky is falling.
And I've seen miracles just happen.
Silent prayers get answered.

Broken hearts become brand new.

That's what faith can do.

When the world says you can't, it'll tell you that you can.
That's what faith can do.

Serious illness. Financial stress. Scary Pregnancy/Delivery. Deployments.
Whatever life throws our way...


Our God is greater, our God is stronger.
Our God is healer, awesome and power.
And if our God is for us, then who can ever stop us?
And if our God is with us, then what can stand against us?

He gave us each other.
When we are weak, He will make us strong.

Together we can get through anything.
I love you, Sarge.

** Thank you KLove morning show (with Mandisa in for Lisa) for playing the perfect soundtrack at just the right time.  Lyrics from Royal Tailor, Matt Maher, Kutless, and Chris Tomlin.

kiss your face

For weeks now, I have been hoping that we'd get a small miracle and the start of deployment would be delayed just long enough for me to kiss my husband's sweet face on his birthday. I wasn't able to see him on his birthday last year and it was hard to be apart.  Well, today is the day and we got our wish!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARGE!!

We are so blessed to have had the start of this deployment delayed by a few days due to bad weather, and I am so thankful that as my husband turns 28 today we are able to celebrate together! We actually celebrated over the weekend so he would have some time with his present before he leaves. Tonight when he is done with work for the day, I plan to have his birthday cake made of Twinkies ready for him to enjoy!  Last year, I made the same type of cake and took a picture to send in his birthday care package... he told me he was thankful for the thought -- but couldn't stand the thought of all those wasted Twinkies!  So I'm sure no Twinkies will go to waste today!

In honor of Sarge's birthday, I put together a list of 28 things I love about him - in no particular order!

28. He is always, always supportive - no matter how crazy, silly or just plain dumb my ideas are.
27. He is positive - always.
26. I can talk to him about anything.
25. When we cuddle we just fit.
24. I love when he stops me wherever we are - usually in the middle of the store - to dance and kiss.
23. I love how he acts like Tigger when you're excited about something.
22. He puts up with my crazy adventures and road trips.
21. He always lets me stop for my state sign pictures.
20. He's an amazing daddy to his litter girl
19. He's an amazing husband
18. I love how he always signs "I Love You" before he leaves the room or house
17. He treats me with respect
16. He hugs me tight
15. If I really want something he figures out a way to let me have it
14. Dressed up or in sweats - I always look amazing in his eyes
13. He cared enough to leave Afghanistan, putting his career on hold, to take care of me while I had HG
12. He puts up with my constant need to have pictures of every moment
11. He respects that my family is very important to me and we are very close
10. He is always patient with me - even when I am not patient at all with him
9. I love his intelligence - and the fact that he doesn't make me feel less than him.
8. When we are together - we are home - wherever we are...
7. I love that he enjoys reading books
6. I love that we can stay up all night and watch the sunrise together
5. I love that he loves me so much he married me twice
4. He misses me - and shows it.
3. He goes out of his way to maintain communication during deployment.
2. He still believes in chivalry
1. As long as I am happy - he is happy.

I love you Sarge!  Thank you for loving me!

kiss your face

For weeks now, I have been hoping that we'd get a small miracle and the start of deployment would be delayed just long enough for me to kiss my husband's sweet face on his birthday. I wasn't able to see him on his birthday last year and it was hard to be apart.  Well, today is the day and we got our wish!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SARGE!!

We are so blessed to have had the start of this deployment delayed by a few days due to bad weather, and I am so thankful that as my husband turns 28 today we are able to celebrate together! We actually celebrated over the weekend so he would have some time with his present before he leaves. Tonight when he is done with work for the day, I plan to have his birthday cake made of Twinkies ready for him to enjoy!  Last year, I made the same type of cake and took a picture to send in his birthday care package... he told me he was thankful for the thought -- but couldn't stand the thought of all those wasted Twinkies!  So I'm sure no Twinkies will go to waste today!

In honor of Sarge's birthday, I put together a list of 28 things I love about him - in no particular order!

28. He is always, always supportive - no matter how crazy, silly or just plain dumb my ideas are.
27. He is positive - always.
26. I can talk to him about anything.
25. When we cuddle we just fit.
24. I love when he stops me wherever we are - usually in the middle of the store - to dance and kiss.
23. I love how he acts like Tigger when you're excited about something.
22. He puts up with my crazy adventures and road trips.
21. He always lets me stop for my state sign pictures.
20. He's an amazing daddy to his litter girl
19. He's an amazing husband
18. I love how he always signs "I Love You" before he leaves the room or house
17. He treats me with respect
16. He hugs me tight
15. If I really want something he figures out a way to let me have it
14. Dressed up or in sweats - I always look amazing in his eyes
13. He cared enough to leave Afghanistan, putting his career on hold, to take care of me while I had HG
12. He puts up with my constant need to have pictures of every moment
11. He respects that my family is very important to me and we are very close
10. He is always patient with me - even when I am not patient at all with him
9. I love his intelligence - and the fact that he doesn't make me feel less than him.
8. When we are together - we are home - wherever we are...
7. I love that he enjoys reading books
6. I love that we can stay up all night and watch the sunrise together
5. I love that he loves me so much he married me twice
4. He misses me - and shows it.
3. He goes out of his way to maintain communication during deployment.
2. He still believes in chivalry
1. As long as I am happy - he is happy.

I love you Sarge!  Thank you for loving me!

Easter

My Savior Lives! 

Easter

My Savior Lives! 

I will be strong for him

Deployment #2 - Here we go.

Deployments are hard - no question.  Last year, during our first deployment I was actually pretty lucky.  I was pregnant with Monkey and so sick that I was drugged up and sleeping almost 20 hours a day. I usually woke up long enough for the home health nurses to come, or to accept a medication delivery, go to the doctor, and get a phone call from Sarge. It hurt for him to be gone and I missed him so much... but I was lucky because when you're sleeping time passes quickly.

This time, I expect that things are going to be very different. I'm not sick and I refuse to just pull the covers over my head until he comes home. Our daughter needs me and Sarge needs me. I have to be strong. I have to keep carrying on.

So, in the spirit of promising to be strong and following the inspiration of a fellow military wife, I make these promises to myself -- and to Sarge and Monkey.

The first week, I expect nothing of myself -- other than to make it back home with Monkey, safely and with enough groceries to fill the fridge so we don't have to run out to the store for a few days, and spend most of our days cuddling, just us girls.

I won't eat only junk, but I'll allow myself some comfort foods. I'll sleep on his side of the bed, wear his shirts and steal his pillows -- they still smell so much like him, and I'll cover up with his blankets if it makes me feel better. After a week, I promise to wash the sheets. It won't wash his scent away, anyway. I'll unpack the suitcases, get the mail (even if I only open the fun stuff and leave the rest of later), do laundry and get us settled back into a routine.

After that, I'll find the strength I need to make the decisions we have to make, knowing that even if they make things harder for now, it's for the best future we can give ourselves as a family.

I'll tackle the "man cave" turned office and actually use the Neat Desk we bought so we can dig out from under the paper clutter and not just move it to the next base with us.  Yes, honey that even means the hall closet wall o' boxes.

I'll reach out to friends (close by or far away) when I need to vent, chat or cry and can't reach my Sarge. I'll let those close to me know when it's time to drag me out of the house and stop us from being couped up! I'll make plans to take road-trips to visit special friends who aren't so close by... I hope you girls know who you are and are ready for us to visit!

I'll make plans for mommy dates, play dates, zoo trips and good ol' fun. I'll start swimming lessons and play gym with Monkey. I'll swing on the porch swing and get a baby pool for the backyard. I'll socialize. I'll take pictures and videos. I'll remember that it's ok to have fun - it's important.

When it gets hard to be a solo-parent, I'll hold Monkey close and remember that she is a piece of Sarge and I that he left with me, to take care of and love, and she gets sad and frustrated with him not being home too. I'll take a deep breath and restore my patience. It's ok if we have rough moments, but I want to remember that even in the roughest moment, Sarge would love to be here with us. It's not his choice to leave.

There's so much more... but a lot of my deployment plans depend on what the final outcome is of the decisions we are still making, so this is a good start.

It is what it is... it sucks. However long it ends up being, 12 months or 15 months or somewhere in between or even longer...  we will make it. I'll be strong for Sarge. I'll be strong for Monkey. We will be ok, because our love is worth it.

I love you Sarge. Be safe - I know you're coming home to us... the same or better.

** For OPSEC reasons, this post is scheduled.

I will be strong for him

Deployment #2 - Here we go.

Deployments are hard - no question.  Last year, during our first deployment I was actually pretty lucky.  I was pregnant with Monkey and so sick that I was drugged up and sleeping almost 20 hours a day. I usually woke up long enough for the home health nurses to come, or to accept a medication delivery, go to the doctor, and get a phone call from Sarge. It hurt for him to be gone and I missed him so much... but I was lucky because when you're sleeping time passes quickly.

This time, I expect that things are going to be very different. I'm not sick and I refuse to just pull the covers over my head until he comes home. Our daughter needs me and Sarge needs me. I have to be strong. I have to keep carrying on.

So, in the spirit of promising to be strong and following the inspiration of a fellow military wife, I make these promises to myself -- and to Sarge and Monkey.

The first week, I expect nothing of myself -- other than to make it back home with Monkey, safely and with enough groceries to fill the fridge so we don't have to run out to the store for a few days, and spend most of our days cuddling, just us girls.

I won't eat only junk, but I'll allow myself some comfort foods. I'll sleep on his side of the bed, wear his shirts and steal his pillows -- they still smell so much like him, and I'll cover up with his blankets if it makes me feel better. After a week, I promise to wash the sheets. It won't wash his scent away, anyway. I'll unpack the suitcases, get the mail (even if I only open the fun stuff and leave the rest of later), do laundry and get us settled back into a routine.

After that, I'll find the strength I need to make the decisions we have to make, knowing that even if they make things harder for now, it's for the best future we can give ourselves as a family.

I'll tackle the "man cave" turned office and actually use the Neat Desk we bought so we can dig out from under the paper clutter and not just move it to the next base with us.  Yes, honey that even means the hall closet wall o' boxes.

I'll reach out to friends (close by or far away) when I need to vent, chat or cry and can't reach my Sarge. I'll let those close to me know when it's time to drag me out of the house and stop us from being couped up! I'll make plans to take road-trips to visit special friends who aren't so close by... I hope you girls know who you are and are ready for us to visit!

I'll make plans for mommy dates, play dates, zoo trips and good ol' fun. I'll start swimming lessons and play gym with Monkey. I'll swing on the porch swing and get a baby pool for the backyard. I'll socialize. I'll take pictures and videos. I'll remember that it's ok to have fun - it's important.

When it gets hard to be a solo-parent, I'll hold Monkey close and remember that she is a piece of Sarge and I that he left with me, to take care of and love, and she gets sad and frustrated with him not being home too. I'll take a deep breath and restore my patience. It's ok if we have rough moments, but I want to remember that even in the roughest moment, Sarge would love to be here with us. It's not his choice to leave.

There's so much more... but a lot of my deployment plans depend on what the final outcome is of the decisions we are still making, so this is a good start.

It is what it is... it sucks. However long it ends up being, 12 months or 15 months or somewhere in between or even longer...  we will make it. I'll be strong for Sarge. I'll be strong for Monkey. We will be ok, because our love is worth it.

I love you Sarge. Be safe - I know you're coming home to us... the same or better.

** For OPSEC reasons, this post is scheduled.

time to feel, time to be

I know I haven't been posting like I should. I've tried - really hard. Between the spotty internet, stress, and military deployment curve-balls being thrown our way, it's just not happening. I know some of you are waiting for the continuation of Monkey's diagnosis story, and I promise it's coming by the end of next week. I'm sorry for keeping you waiting - it wasn't my intention, it's just what is.

Life kind of got in the way of everything for right now and I'm doing good just to keep going while we figure out what is happening in our immediate future.

So what is going on? Deployment is so close to starting, and emotions we didn't expect to come to the surface this time around have made their way to the surface of our hearts. Silly us, we thought since we'd been through this before it would be easier this time. I never imagined it would actually be harder.

Sarge and I, our last night at home
Deployment #1, December 2009

For now, I'm soaking up the moments in his arms.

I'm savoring every second we have in these moments.

When he comes home all 3 of us will have experienced at least one birthday, and changed a digit or two in our ages. So many holidays and special events we had planned on finally spending together are going to be missed again this year... along with some new ones we didn't imagine we'd be missing.


The latest changes to the deployment have just been hard to swallow for both of us. This just wasn't what we had planned and we don't understand why it has to be this way.

Monkey and Daddy - cuddling in the hotel room
Deployment #2, April 2011

We are also in the midst of making some big decisions concerning our future, and right now it seems like absolutely nothing is certain or stable except our love for each other and our little family, and of course God.

We are trusting and relying on our faith in God to pull us through everything we are facing. He knows so much better than we do and somehow He has a plan for us in all of this. We trust Him, but it doesn't make it easy.

Right now, I know it's ok to fall apart because in a few days he will be gone and that's when I have to be strong. For Monkey, for Sarge, to keep myself going... so for now?

It's ok if the tears fall, because he's here to wipe them away, hold me and remind me that no matter what we will be ok.  I'll be posting more on this song and how it has touched my life, later... but for now I'm just going to quote it.

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy. And what if trials of this life - the rain, the storms, the hardest nights - are your mercies in disguise... - Laura Story, Blessings

time to feel, time to be

I know I haven't been posting like I should. I've tried - really hard. Between the spotty internet, stress, and military deployment curve-balls being thrown our way, it's just not happening. I know some of you are waiting for the continuation of Monkey's diagnosis story, and I promise it's coming by the end of next week. I'm sorry for keeping you waiting - it wasn't my intention, it's just what is.

Life kind of got in the way of everything for right now and I'm doing good just to keep going while we figure out what is happening in our immediate future.

So what is going on? Deployment is so close to starting, and emotions we didn't expect to come to the surface this time around have made their way to the surface of our hearts. Silly us, we thought since we'd been through this before it would be easier this time. I never imagined it would actually be harder.

Sarge and I, our last night at home
Deployment #1, December 2009

For now, I'm soaking up the moments in his arms.

I'm savoring every second we have in these moments.

When he comes home all 3 of us will have experienced at least one birthday, and changed a digit or two in our ages. So many holidays and special events we had planned on finally spending together are going to be missed again this year... along with some new ones we didn't imagine we'd be missing.


The latest changes to the deployment have just been hard to swallow for both of us. This just wasn't what we had planned and we don't understand why it has to be this way.

Monkey and Daddy - cuddling in the hotel room
Deployment #2, April 2011

We are also in the midst of making some big decisions concerning our future, and right now it seems like absolutely nothing is certain or stable except our love for each other and our little family, and of course God.

We are trusting and relying on our faith in God to pull us through everything we are facing. He knows so much better than we do and somehow He has a plan for us in all of this. We trust Him, but it doesn't make it easy.

Right now, I know it's ok to fall apart because in a few days he will be gone and that's when I have to be strong. For Monkey, for Sarge, to keep myself going... so for now?

It's ok if the tears fall, because he's here to wipe them away, hold me and remind me that no matter what we will be ok.  I'll be posting more on this song and how it has touched my life, later... but for now I'm just going to quote it.

What if my greatest disappointments or the aching of this life is the revealing of a greater thirst this world can’t satisfy. And what if trials of this life - the rain, the storms, the hardest nights - are your mercies in disguise... - Laura Story, Blessings

Heroes never shutdown

The Merrium-Webster dictionary defines a hero as a "man admired for his achievements and noble qualities"; "one who shows great courage".

As I write this, I am sitting in a hotel room in southern Mississippi. My husband is here getting ready for yet another deployment, less than a year after returning from his last tour of duty. My 5 month old daughter and I joined him a few days ago, planning to soak up every last moment we have together before he is gone for a still undetermined amount of time.

Today my husband woke up early, pulled on his combat boots and kissed us goodbye. When I look at his face, I see unfailing dedication and love for his family and for his country. Sadly, today I also see stress and fear at what is to come and what we will be facing while he is away.

Everyone is abuzz with news of the possible and likely probable government shutdown and what it would specifically mean for military families. Why should he and so many others have to add to the usual stress of deployment, the stress of not knowing if their wives and children will have enough money to pay the bills and keep food on the table while they are away? They are putting their lives on the line for the very country that has put this stress on them! Instead of being able to focus solely on the mission, they are now distracted by what is going on back at home.

 Has anyone stopped to think of the cold hard realization that if the military actually stops getting paid someone, somewhere is going to be killed in the line of duty while their family is not receiving the paycheck that they have earned! That, to me, is an inexcusable tragedy that should never be something we have to worry about happening.

It's not the fact that we are personally unprepared for this that boggles my mind and angers me. I am confident that we will survive, even if my daughter and I have to go stay with family to ensure that we have running water and electricity because privatized off base military housing fails to provide this to us when they aren't receiving our BAH.

What gets to me is the fact that this entire situation is avoidable. There is absolutely NO reason why those with the power to make the decisions to agree on the budget could not have come to a resolution by now, April 8, 2011. I'm not very into politics but it is my understanding that they have had more than enough time to figure out their differences and come to a compromise.

I don't have any answers in this, and honestly my voice is just one of many who will probably always be overlooked by those in office who make the decisions. We serve a God who is bigger than a government shutdown and I trust that He will provide for us. I do hope that those in office will wake up and look around and see what they are doing to the ones who are fighting for this country and the families who are faithfully waiting for them to return.

In a few days, my husband will board a plane for Afghanistan. He will do it regardless of what is happening with the government shutdown or where our family stands financially in the wake of what is happening. He will do it because he has made a commitment to serve his country. I will soon kiss his face for the last time in a very long time and savor every last moment that his arms are wrapped around me, knowing that he is a man of his word, who stands up for what he believes in. My husband plans to re-enlist once again while overseas, because he believes he is making a difference and saving lives.

He is an American Airman and I am the wife of a true hero. He will never shutdown, even if the government does. 



President Obama and members of Congress:


Please look around at those who are most affected by your inability to create a compromise that forces a government shutdown. 

Have you ever kissed your loved ones goodbye and boarded a plane for a war-torn country, unsure of whether or not you would ever see them again?  Have you ever waited for a phone call that tells you that your loved one is safe, only to hang up and begin waiting for the next -- all while keeping the kids and family running smoothly as though there is nothing to worry about? Have you ever heard the doorbell ring and felt your heart stop, wondering if on the other side were military officials there to tell you that your loved one had paid the ultimate price for your freedom? Have you ever worked a 22 hour day, taken a cold shower, eaten an MRE as your only meal for the day, and waited in line for an hour to call and let your loved ones know you are alive and well -- at least for today?  My husband has. I have. Military members, wives (and husbands and other family members left behind) do every single day.


Please think of those who are fighting for our freedom, who have left their families behind trusting that the pay they are earning will arrive in a timely manner. Think of the mothers who are worried that they will not be able to feed their children, the children who may or may not understand why there is not enough food to go around and who didn't ask to be put in that position.

Perhaps you and those you love are fortunate enough that none of this will affect you, whether it is because you are exempt from having your pay stop during a shutdown or because you simply make enough that missing a paycheck or two doesn't matter. There are so many out there who will be affected and it is not fair to them to suffer for your irresponsibility. At the very least, if a shutdown IS necessary, please give us notice and warning and provide information to help us get through these troubled times instead of continuing to lead us to believe that something will work out in time for us to still get paid our full expected amount.

If you can't come to an agreement about the issues that you are still arguing over after so many months, can you at least agree that during this shutdown no one should lose electricity or have their water shut off because they cannot pay the bill? What about car payments, house payments, and other necessary pieces of our lives? Will you guarantee that my car will not be taken away when I don't pay the bill this month? Will you talk to my mortgage lender or landlord and explain that I need more time to pay? Just what bank do you think will give me and my husband a loan when we are already overextended and as of now have no promise of when we will receive pay next?


When you go home from your office today, I hope that you are able to enjoy your weekend with those you love the most, worry-free. It is my husband's last weekend in this country and instead of being able to enjoy our time eating at his favorite places and driving a few hours to the beach to show our daughter the ocean for the first time, we are going to be cuddled up together coming up with a back up plan for just in case I go home to find that we are without the basic necessities of daily life. Instead of boarding a plane to Afghanistan clinging to fond memories of his last days in the US for a still undetermined amount of time, my husband will board a plane worried about what his wife and daughter are facing while he is away.

I'm sure the issues you are arguing over are important. 
That's why my husband, a member of the US Air Force, does what he does - to give you the right to disagree over those issues.  

Please, if you can't respect each other and the people of the United States of America enough to find a compromise, at least find the respect to give my husband and other military members a paycheck to provide a life for his family.

My husband is a hero and he will never shutdown his efforts. Please don't shutdown yours.


Sincerely and Respectfully,
this military wife

Heroes never shutdown

The Merrium-Webster dictionary defines a hero as a "man admired for his achievements and noble qualities"; "one who shows great courage".

As I write this, I am sitting in a hotel room in southern Mississippi. My husband is here getting ready for yet another deployment, less than a year after returning from his last tour of duty. My 5 month old daughter and I joined him a few days ago, planning to soak up every last moment we have together before he is gone for a still undetermined amount of time.

Today my husband woke up early, pulled on his combat boots and kissed us goodbye. When I look at his face, I see unfailing dedication and love for his family and for his country. Sadly, today I also see stress and fear at what is to come and what we will be facing while he is away.

Everyone is abuzz with news of the possible and likely probable government shutdown and what it would specifically mean for military families. Why should he and so many others have to add to the usual stress of deployment, the stress of not knowing if their wives and children will have enough money to pay the bills and keep food on the table while they are away? They are putting their lives on the line for the very country that has put this stress on them! Instead of being able to focus solely on the mission, they are now distracted by what is going on back at home.

 Has anyone stopped to think of the cold hard realization that if the military actually stops getting paid someone, somewhere is going to be killed in the line of duty while their family is not receiving the paycheck that they have earned! That, to me, is an inexcusable tragedy that should never be something we have to worry about happening.

It's not the fact that we are personally unprepared for this that boggles my mind and angers me. I am confident that we will survive, even if my daughter and I have to go stay with family to ensure that we have running water and electricity because privatized off base military housing fails to provide this to us when they aren't receiving our BAH.

What gets to me is the fact that this entire situation is avoidable. There is absolutely NO reason why those with the power to make the decisions to agree on the budget could not have come to a resolution by now, April 8, 2011. I'm not very into politics but it is my understanding that they have had more than enough time to figure out their differences and come to a compromise.

I don't have any answers in this, and honestly my voice is just one of many who will probably always be overlooked by those in office who make the decisions. We serve a God who is bigger than a government shutdown and I trust that He will provide for us. I do hope that those in office will wake up and look around and see what they are doing to the ones who are fighting for this country and the families who are faithfully waiting for them to return.

In a few days, my husband will board a plane for Afghanistan. He will do it regardless of what is happening with the government shutdown or where our family stands financially in the wake of what is happening. He will do it because he has made a commitment to serve his country. I will soon kiss his face for the last time in a very long time and savor every last moment that his arms are wrapped around me, knowing that he is a man of his word, who stands up for what he believes in. My husband plans to re-enlist once again while overseas, because he believes he is making a difference and saving lives.

He is an American Airman and I am the wife of a true hero. He will never shutdown, even if the government does. 



President Obama and members of Congress:


Please look around at those who are most affected by your inability to create a compromise that forces a government shutdown. 

Have you ever kissed your loved ones goodbye and boarded a plane for a war-torn country, unsure of whether or not you would ever see them again?  Have you ever waited for a phone call that tells you that your loved one is safe, only to hang up and begin waiting for the next -- all while keeping the kids and family running smoothly as though there is nothing to worry about? Have you ever heard the doorbell ring and felt your heart stop, wondering if on the other side were military officials there to tell you that your loved one had paid the ultimate price for your freedom? Have you ever worked a 22 hour day, taken a cold shower, eaten an MRE as your only meal for the day, and waited in line for an hour to call and let your loved ones know you are alive and well -- at least for today?  My husband has. I have. Military members, wives (and husbands and other family members left behind) do every single day.


Please think of those who are fighting for our freedom, who have left their families behind trusting that the pay they are earning will arrive in a timely manner. Think of the mothers who are worried that they will not be able to feed their children, the children who may or may not understand why there is not enough food to go around and who didn't ask to be put in that position.

Perhaps you and those you love are fortunate enough that none of this will affect you, whether it is because you are exempt from having your pay stop during a shutdown or because you simply make enough that missing a paycheck or two doesn't matter. There are so many out there who will be affected and it is not fair to them to suffer for your irresponsibility. At the very least, if a shutdown IS necessary, please give us notice and warning and provide information to help us get through these troubled times instead of continuing to lead us to believe that something will work out in time for us to still get paid our full expected amount.

If you can't come to an agreement about the issues that you are still arguing over after so many months, can you at least agree that during this shutdown no one should lose electricity or have their water shut off because they cannot pay the bill? What about car payments, house payments, and other necessary pieces of our lives? Will you guarantee that my car will not be taken away when I don't pay the bill this month? Will you talk to my mortgage lender or landlord and explain that I need more time to pay? Just what bank do you think will give me and my husband a loan when we are already overextended and as of now have no promise of when we will receive pay next?


When you go home from your office today, I hope that you are able to enjoy your weekend with those you love the most, worry-free. It is my husband's last weekend in this country and instead of being able to enjoy our time eating at his favorite places and driving a few hours to the beach to show our daughter the ocean for the first time, we are going to be cuddled up together coming up with a back up plan for just in case I go home to find that we are without the basic necessities of daily life. Instead of boarding a plane to Afghanistan clinging to fond memories of his last days in the US for a still undetermined amount of time, my husband will board a plane worried about what his wife and daughter are facing while he is away.

I'm sure the issues you are arguing over are important. 
That's why my husband, a member of the US Air Force, does what he does - to give you the right to disagree over those issues.  

Please, if you can't respect each other and the people of the United States of America enough to find a compromise, at least find the respect to give my husband and other military members a paycheck to provide a life for his family.

My husband is a hero and he will never shutdown his efforts. Please don't shutdown yours.


Sincerely and Respectfully,
this military wife

Waiting and Living

I'm waiting 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

And I am hopeful 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

Though it is painful 

But patiently, I will wait 

As a military spouse, it sometimes feels like I am constantly waiting.  

I'm waiting on my husband to leave so we can countdown to him coming home. I'm waiting to find out where and when we will be moving next. I'm waiting for the right time to continue pursing my own education and career. We are waiting on the right time to try to have our next child.  I'm waiting for a phone call or email that tells me my husband is safe. We are waiting for the "higher ups" to make decisions that affect every aspect of our lives. 

It's hard to wait and it's hard to not be in control.  It's hard to have to turn down wonderful opportunities because so many details in our everyday life are unclear.

I will move ahead, bold and confident 

Taking every step in obedience 

While I'm waiting 

I will serve You 

While I'm waiting 

I will worship 

While I'm waiting 

I will not faint 

I'll be running the race 

Even while I wait 

No matter how hard it is, I've discovered that I have to keep living while I'm waiting. I have to keep serving while I'm waiting, wherever I am. When it's hardest to wait, I have to turn to God and trust in His plan and His timing.

Right now we are in a difficult position. We are waiting for deployment to start. Plans are uncertain. Orders are unspecific. Chaos reins. The rumors are flying. We are just waiting... some days it feels like our life is on hold and we are waiting for it to resume!

Today, I am thankful to be reminded that the Lord has a plan.  While we're waiting, I can be praying that the Lord shows me how He wants me to serve Him during this time. I can pray that the Lord uses my husband for good during his upcoming deployment and that He is protected from all the dangers overseas. I can pray that my daughter and I grow closer together and closer to my husband while he is away.

God has a purpose for my life and I will faithfully wait for Him to show me how I can serve while living this crazy military lifestyle.

I'm waiting 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

And I am peaceful 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

Though it's not easy 

But faithfully, I will wait 

Yes, I will wait 

Lyrics by John Waller - While I'm Waiting. You can find the video for these lyrics on YouTube.

Waiting and Living

I'm waiting 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

And I am hopeful 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

Though it is painful 

But patiently, I will wait 

As a military spouse, it sometimes feels like I am constantly waiting.  

I'm waiting on my husband to leave so we can countdown to him coming home. I'm waiting to find out where and when we will be moving next. I'm waiting for the right time to continue pursing my own education and career. We are waiting on the right time to try to have our next child.  I'm waiting for a phone call or email that tells me my husband is safe. We are waiting for the "higher ups" to make decisions that affect every aspect of our lives. 

It's hard to wait and it's hard to not be in control.  It's hard to have to turn down wonderful opportunities because so many details in our everyday life are unclear.

I will move ahead, bold and confident 

Taking every step in obedience 

While I'm waiting 

I will serve You 

While I'm waiting 

I will worship 

While I'm waiting 

I will not faint 

I'll be running the race 

Even while I wait 

No matter how hard it is, I've discovered that I have to keep living while I'm waiting. I have to keep serving while I'm waiting, wherever I am. When it's hardest to wait, I have to turn to God and trust in His plan and His timing.

Right now we are in a difficult position. We are waiting for deployment to start. Plans are uncertain. Orders are unspecific. Chaos reins. The rumors are flying. We are just waiting... some days it feels like our life is on hold and we are waiting for it to resume!

Today, I am thankful to be reminded that the Lord has a plan.  While we're waiting, I can be praying that the Lord shows me how He wants me to serve Him during this time. I can pray that the Lord uses my husband for good during his upcoming deployment and that He is protected from all the dangers overseas. I can pray that my daughter and I grow closer together and closer to my husband while he is away.

God has a purpose for my life and I will faithfully wait for Him to show me how I can serve while living this crazy military lifestyle.

I'm waiting 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

And I am peaceful 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

Though it's not easy 

But faithfully, I will wait 

Yes, I will wait 

Lyrics by John Waller - While I'm Waiting. You can find the video for these lyrics on YouTube.