Heroes never shutdown

The Merrium-Webster dictionary defines a hero as a "man admired for his achievements and noble qualities"; "one who shows great courage".

As I write this, I am sitting in a hotel room in southern Mississippi. My husband is here getting ready for yet another deployment, less than a year after returning from his last tour of duty. My 5 month old daughter and I joined him a few days ago, planning to soak up every last moment we have together before he is gone for a still undetermined amount of time.

Today my husband woke up early, pulled on his combat boots and kissed us goodbye. When I look at his face, I see unfailing dedication and love for his family and for his country. Sadly, today I also see stress and fear at what is to come and what we will be facing while he is away.

Everyone is abuzz with news of the possible and likely probable government shutdown and what it would specifically mean for military families. Why should he and so many others have to add to the usual stress of deployment, the stress of not knowing if their wives and children will have enough money to pay the bills and keep food on the table while they are away? They are putting their lives on the line for the very country that has put this stress on them! Instead of being able to focus solely on the mission, they are now distracted by what is going on back at home.

 Has anyone stopped to think of the cold hard realization that if the military actually stops getting paid someone, somewhere is going to be killed in the line of duty while their family is not receiving the paycheck that they have earned! That, to me, is an inexcusable tragedy that should never be something we have to worry about happening.

It's not the fact that we are personally unprepared for this that boggles my mind and angers me. I am confident that we will survive, even if my daughter and I have to go stay with family to ensure that we have running water and electricity because privatized off base military housing fails to provide this to us when they aren't receiving our BAH.

What gets to me is the fact that this entire situation is avoidable. There is absolutely NO reason why those with the power to make the decisions to agree on the budget could not have come to a resolution by now, April 8, 2011. I'm not very into politics but it is my understanding that they have had more than enough time to figure out their differences and come to a compromise.

I don't have any answers in this, and honestly my voice is just one of many who will probably always be overlooked by those in office who make the decisions. We serve a God who is bigger than a government shutdown and I trust that He will provide for us. I do hope that those in office will wake up and look around and see what they are doing to the ones who are fighting for this country and the families who are faithfully waiting for them to return.

In a few days, my husband will board a plane for Afghanistan. He will do it regardless of what is happening with the government shutdown or where our family stands financially in the wake of what is happening. He will do it because he has made a commitment to serve his country. I will soon kiss his face for the last time in a very long time and savor every last moment that his arms are wrapped around me, knowing that he is a man of his word, who stands up for what he believes in. My husband plans to re-enlist once again while overseas, because he believes he is making a difference and saving lives.

He is an American Airman and I am the wife of a true hero. He will never shutdown, even if the government does. 



President Obama and members of Congress:


Please look around at those who are most affected by your inability to create a compromise that forces a government shutdown. 

Have you ever kissed your loved ones goodbye and boarded a plane for a war-torn country, unsure of whether or not you would ever see them again?  Have you ever waited for a phone call that tells you that your loved one is safe, only to hang up and begin waiting for the next -- all while keeping the kids and family running smoothly as though there is nothing to worry about? Have you ever heard the doorbell ring and felt your heart stop, wondering if on the other side were military officials there to tell you that your loved one had paid the ultimate price for your freedom? Have you ever worked a 22 hour day, taken a cold shower, eaten an MRE as your only meal for the day, and waited in line for an hour to call and let your loved ones know you are alive and well -- at least for today?  My husband has. I have. Military members, wives (and husbands and other family members left behind) do every single day.


Please think of those who are fighting for our freedom, who have left their families behind trusting that the pay they are earning will arrive in a timely manner. Think of the mothers who are worried that they will not be able to feed their children, the children who may or may not understand why there is not enough food to go around and who didn't ask to be put in that position.

Perhaps you and those you love are fortunate enough that none of this will affect you, whether it is because you are exempt from having your pay stop during a shutdown or because you simply make enough that missing a paycheck or two doesn't matter. There are so many out there who will be affected and it is not fair to them to suffer for your irresponsibility. At the very least, if a shutdown IS necessary, please give us notice and warning and provide information to help us get through these troubled times instead of continuing to lead us to believe that something will work out in time for us to still get paid our full expected amount.

If you can't come to an agreement about the issues that you are still arguing over after so many months, can you at least agree that during this shutdown no one should lose electricity or have their water shut off because they cannot pay the bill? What about car payments, house payments, and other necessary pieces of our lives? Will you guarantee that my car will not be taken away when I don't pay the bill this month? Will you talk to my mortgage lender or landlord and explain that I need more time to pay? Just what bank do you think will give me and my husband a loan when we are already overextended and as of now have no promise of when we will receive pay next?


When you go home from your office today, I hope that you are able to enjoy your weekend with those you love the most, worry-free. It is my husband's last weekend in this country and instead of being able to enjoy our time eating at his favorite places and driving a few hours to the beach to show our daughter the ocean for the first time, we are going to be cuddled up together coming up with a back up plan for just in case I go home to find that we are without the basic necessities of daily life. Instead of boarding a plane to Afghanistan clinging to fond memories of his last days in the US for a still undetermined amount of time, my husband will board a plane worried about what his wife and daughter are facing while he is away.

I'm sure the issues you are arguing over are important. 
That's why my husband, a member of the US Air Force, does what he does - to give you the right to disagree over those issues.  

Please, if you can't respect each other and the people of the United States of America enough to find a compromise, at least find the respect to give my husband and other military members a paycheck to provide a life for his family.

My husband is a hero and he will never shutdown his efforts. Please don't shutdown yours.


Sincerely and Respectfully,
this military wife

Heroes never shutdown

The Merrium-Webster dictionary defines a hero as a "man admired for his achievements and noble qualities"; "one who shows great courage".

As I write this, I am sitting in a hotel room in southern Mississippi. My husband is here getting ready for yet another deployment, less than a year after returning from his last tour of duty. My 5 month old daughter and I joined him a few days ago, planning to soak up every last moment we have together before he is gone for a still undetermined amount of time.

Today my husband woke up early, pulled on his combat boots and kissed us goodbye. When I look at his face, I see unfailing dedication and love for his family and for his country. Sadly, today I also see stress and fear at what is to come and what we will be facing while he is away.

Everyone is abuzz with news of the possible and likely probable government shutdown and what it would specifically mean for military families. Why should he and so many others have to add to the usual stress of deployment, the stress of not knowing if their wives and children will have enough money to pay the bills and keep food on the table while they are away? They are putting their lives on the line for the very country that has put this stress on them! Instead of being able to focus solely on the mission, they are now distracted by what is going on back at home.

 Has anyone stopped to think of the cold hard realization that if the military actually stops getting paid someone, somewhere is going to be killed in the line of duty while their family is not receiving the paycheck that they have earned! That, to me, is an inexcusable tragedy that should never be something we have to worry about happening.

It's not the fact that we are personally unprepared for this that boggles my mind and angers me. I am confident that we will survive, even if my daughter and I have to go stay with family to ensure that we have running water and electricity because privatized off base military housing fails to provide this to us when they aren't receiving our BAH.

What gets to me is the fact that this entire situation is avoidable. There is absolutely NO reason why those with the power to make the decisions to agree on the budget could not have come to a resolution by now, April 8, 2011. I'm not very into politics but it is my understanding that they have had more than enough time to figure out their differences and come to a compromise.

I don't have any answers in this, and honestly my voice is just one of many who will probably always be overlooked by those in office who make the decisions. We serve a God who is bigger than a government shutdown and I trust that He will provide for us. I do hope that those in office will wake up and look around and see what they are doing to the ones who are fighting for this country and the families who are faithfully waiting for them to return.

In a few days, my husband will board a plane for Afghanistan. He will do it regardless of what is happening with the government shutdown or where our family stands financially in the wake of what is happening. He will do it because he has made a commitment to serve his country. I will soon kiss his face for the last time in a very long time and savor every last moment that his arms are wrapped around me, knowing that he is a man of his word, who stands up for what he believes in. My husband plans to re-enlist once again while overseas, because he believes he is making a difference and saving lives.

He is an American Airman and I am the wife of a true hero. He will never shutdown, even if the government does. 



President Obama and members of Congress:


Please look around at those who are most affected by your inability to create a compromise that forces a government shutdown. 

Have you ever kissed your loved ones goodbye and boarded a plane for a war-torn country, unsure of whether or not you would ever see them again?  Have you ever waited for a phone call that tells you that your loved one is safe, only to hang up and begin waiting for the next -- all while keeping the kids and family running smoothly as though there is nothing to worry about? Have you ever heard the doorbell ring and felt your heart stop, wondering if on the other side were military officials there to tell you that your loved one had paid the ultimate price for your freedom? Have you ever worked a 22 hour day, taken a cold shower, eaten an MRE as your only meal for the day, and waited in line for an hour to call and let your loved ones know you are alive and well -- at least for today?  My husband has. I have. Military members, wives (and husbands and other family members left behind) do every single day.


Please think of those who are fighting for our freedom, who have left their families behind trusting that the pay they are earning will arrive in a timely manner. Think of the mothers who are worried that they will not be able to feed their children, the children who may or may not understand why there is not enough food to go around and who didn't ask to be put in that position.

Perhaps you and those you love are fortunate enough that none of this will affect you, whether it is because you are exempt from having your pay stop during a shutdown or because you simply make enough that missing a paycheck or two doesn't matter. There are so many out there who will be affected and it is not fair to them to suffer for your irresponsibility. At the very least, if a shutdown IS necessary, please give us notice and warning and provide information to help us get through these troubled times instead of continuing to lead us to believe that something will work out in time for us to still get paid our full expected amount.

If you can't come to an agreement about the issues that you are still arguing over after so many months, can you at least agree that during this shutdown no one should lose electricity or have their water shut off because they cannot pay the bill? What about car payments, house payments, and other necessary pieces of our lives? Will you guarantee that my car will not be taken away when I don't pay the bill this month? Will you talk to my mortgage lender or landlord and explain that I need more time to pay? Just what bank do you think will give me and my husband a loan when we are already overextended and as of now have no promise of when we will receive pay next?


When you go home from your office today, I hope that you are able to enjoy your weekend with those you love the most, worry-free. It is my husband's last weekend in this country and instead of being able to enjoy our time eating at his favorite places and driving a few hours to the beach to show our daughter the ocean for the first time, we are going to be cuddled up together coming up with a back up plan for just in case I go home to find that we are without the basic necessities of daily life. Instead of boarding a plane to Afghanistan clinging to fond memories of his last days in the US for a still undetermined amount of time, my husband will board a plane worried about what his wife and daughter are facing while he is away.

I'm sure the issues you are arguing over are important. 
That's why my husband, a member of the US Air Force, does what he does - to give you the right to disagree over those issues.  

Please, if you can't respect each other and the people of the United States of America enough to find a compromise, at least find the respect to give my husband and other military members a paycheck to provide a life for his family.

My husband is a hero and he will never shutdown his efforts. Please don't shutdown yours.


Sincerely and Respectfully,
this military wife

Waiting and Living

I'm waiting 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

And I am hopeful 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

Though it is painful 

But patiently, I will wait 

As a military spouse, it sometimes feels like I am constantly waiting.  

I'm waiting on my husband to leave so we can countdown to him coming home. I'm waiting to find out where and when we will be moving next. I'm waiting for the right time to continue pursing my own education and career. We are waiting on the right time to try to have our next child.  I'm waiting for a phone call or email that tells me my husband is safe. We are waiting for the "higher ups" to make decisions that affect every aspect of our lives. 

It's hard to wait and it's hard to not be in control.  It's hard to have to turn down wonderful opportunities because so many details in our everyday life are unclear.

I will move ahead, bold and confident 

Taking every step in obedience 

While I'm waiting 

I will serve You 

While I'm waiting 

I will worship 

While I'm waiting 

I will not faint 

I'll be running the race 

Even while I wait 

No matter how hard it is, I've discovered that I have to keep living while I'm waiting. I have to keep serving while I'm waiting, wherever I am. When it's hardest to wait, I have to turn to God and trust in His plan and His timing.

Right now we are in a difficult position. We are waiting for deployment to start. Plans are uncertain. Orders are unspecific. Chaos reins. The rumors are flying. We are just waiting... some days it feels like our life is on hold and we are waiting for it to resume!

Today, I am thankful to be reminded that the Lord has a plan.  While we're waiting, I can be praying that the Lord shows me how He wants me to serve Him during this time. I can pray that the Lord uses my husband for good during his upcoming deployment and that He is protected from all the dangers overseas. I can pray that my daughter and I grow closer together and closer to my husband while he is away.

God has a purpose for my life and I will faithfully wait for Him to show me how I can serve while living this crazy military lifestyle.

I'm waiting 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

And I am peaceful 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

Though it's not easy 

But faithfully, I will wait 

Yes, I will wait 

Lyrics by John Waller - While I'm Waiting. You can find the video for these lyrics on YouTube.

Waiting and Living

I'm waiting 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

And I am hopeful 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

Though it is painful 

But patiently, I will wait 

As a military spouse, it sometimes feels like I am constantly waiting.  

I'm waiting on my husband to leave so we can countdown to him coming home. I'm waiting to find out where and when we will be moving next. I'm waiting for the right time to continue pursing my own education and career. We are waiting on the right time to try to have our next child.  I'm waiting for a phone call or email that tells me my husband is safe. We are waiting for the "higher ups" to make decisions that affect every aspect of our lives. 

It's hard to wait and it's hard to not be in control.  It's hard to have to turn down wonderful opportunities because so many details in our everyday life are unclear.

I will move ahead, bold and confident 

Taking every step in obedience 

While I'm waiting 

I will serve You 

While I'm waiting 

I will worship 

While I'm waiting 

I will not faint 

I'll be running the race 

Even while I wait 

No matter how hard it is, I've discovered that I have to keep living while I'm waiting. I have to keep serving while I'm waiting, wherever I am. When it's hardest to wait, I have to turn to God and trust in His plan and His timing.

Right now we are in a difficult position. We are waiting for deployment to start. Plans are uncertain. Orders are unspecific. Chaos reins. The rumors are flying. We are just waiting... some days it feels like our life is on hold and we are waiting for it to resume!

Today, I am thankful to be reminded that the Lord has a plan.  While we're waiting, I can be praying that the Lord shows me how He wants me to serve Him during this time. I can pray that the Lord uses my husband for good during his upcoming deployment and that He is protected from all the dangers overseas. I can pray that my daughter and I grow closer together and closer to my husband while he is away.

God has a purpose for my life and I will faithfully wait for Him to show me how I can serve while living this crazy military lifestyle.

I'm waiting 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

And I am peaceful 

I'm waiting on You, Lord 

Though it's not easy 

But faithfully, I will wait 

Yes, I will wait 

Lyrics by John Waller - While I'm Waiting. You can find the video for these lyrics on YouTube.

Who wants to know?

As a military wife I often have found myself in a tricky situation with family and friends. You see, not everything in our life is free for me to share with even those who are closest to me. This is really hard sometimes! There are times when Sarge has information that he is unable to discuss with even me, which is even harder to accept because we really hate having any kind of secret between us!

However, when it comes to keeping my husband and family safe there is nothing that I would not do.  So, Sarge and I talked and came up with some OPSEC guidelines that work for us. These apply to blogging, email, phone/text conversations and to friends, family and anyone who might ask. There really are no exceptions!

OPSEC stands for Operations Security. "The fancy definition is that OPSEC is about preventing the “accumulation of one or more elements of sensitive/unclassified information or data that could damage national security by revealing classified information.” Practically speaking, it’s like giving someone pieces of an “intelligence” puzzle that are not themselves classified – and may even seem harmless – but that when assembled, could lead someone to discover a classified or sensitive unclassified program, activity, or project." OPSEC definition source

Our OPSEC guidelines:

We don't talk about the specific time frame.

We don't talk about the mission.

We don't talk about specific military locations.

We don't share pictures with unit insignia.

If you know us in *real life* please refrain from using our full names on this blog.

Phone, email, text, chat rooms, message boards, blogs.
Always assume someone is listening.

No deployed mailing address will be shared with anyone.
If you'd like to send something to Sarge, please send it to me and I will get it to him. This includes immediate family and friends.

We have a PO Box for all mail associated with this blog. The address can be found on the "Contact Me" tab at the top of this blog.

While we realize not everyone is as strict about this on a personal level, we feel very strongly and appreciate your respect for these OPSEC guidelines.

*This post will also be linked under the military resources tab at the top of this blog.

Who wants to know?

As a military wife I often have found myself in a tricky situation with family and friends. You see, not everything in our life is free for me to share with even those who are closest to me. This is really hard sometimes! There are times when Sarge has information that he is unable to discuss with even me, which is even harder to accept because we really hate having any kind of secret between us!

However, when it comes to keeping my husband and family safe there is nothing that I would not do.  So, Sarge and I talked and came up with some OPSEC guidelines that work for us. These apply to blogging, email, phone/text conversations and to friends, family and anyone who might ask. There really are no exceptions!

OPSEC stands for Operations Security. "The fancy definition is that OPSEC is about preventing the “accumulation of one or more elements of sensitive/unclassified information or data that could damage national security by revealing classified information.” Practically speaking, it’s like giving someone pieces of an “intelligence” puzzle that are not themselves classified – and may even seem harmless – but that when assembled, could lead someone to discover a classified or sensitive unclassified program, activity, or project." OPSEC definition source

Our OPSEC guidelines:

We don't talk about the specific time frame.

We don't talk about the mission.

We don't talk about specific military locations.

We don't share pictures with unit insignia.

If you know us in *real life* please refrain from using our full names on this blog.

Phone, email, text, chat rooms, message boards, blogs.
Always assume someone is listening.

No deployed mailing address will be shared with anyone.
If you'd like to send something to Sarge, please send it to me and I will get it to him. This includes immediate family and friends.

We have a PO Box for all mail associated with this blog. The address can be found on the "Contact Me" tab at the top of this blog.

While we realize not everyone is as strict about this on a personal level, we feel very strongly and appreciate your respect for these OPSEC guidelines.

*This post will also be linked under the military resources tab at the top of this blog.

Homecoming 2010

It was everything I imagined it would be and more.  Homecoming day has come and gone and I can truly say I am just so thankful to have him home again.  Home... where I can hug him, kiss him, and just spend time with him whenever I want, with no one interrupting us and no waiting in line for his time!

I was extremely nervous to see him on the day he came home.  It was so much like the anticipation I felt going on our first date, after having only talked to him online -  I knew we hit it off online, but I couldn't help but wonder how things would be in person.  This time, I knew he loved me and I loved him but I couldn't help but wonder how we each had changed in person and how we would react to each other's changes.  The day had finally come and despite all the nerves, I was just excited that my husband was finally coming home to me!!

I got to the airport plenty early, so nervous his plane would land early and he would be waiting for me rather than me waiting for him.  I was relieved and then instantly even more anxious when I got there and his plane hadn't come in. The flight number on the screen was different than what he had told me. He had called me when he landed in DC early in the morning, but I hadn't heard from him once he got to Chicago so I was worried he never made it or something had happened with his flights and he wouldn't be arriving on time.

I didn't have to wait too long before I saw him coming through the security doors.  I felt myself instantly light up and it was as if a thousand pounds of weight had been lifted from my shoulders as I ran to him and was wrapped up tight in his arms.  If the people in the airport noticed, I had no clue because in that moment it was if everything else just faded away and we were the only two people on the planet.  I was finally in his arms and there was absolutely no better place to be!  So far, there is nothing in life that has compared to this moment... it was amazing!  The next hour passed in a blur of hugging, kissing, holding hands and eventually getting his baggage from baggage claim and heading to the car to finally head home again... together.  After 8 crazy months, our first deployment journey is finally over!

Deployment Video from The Highleys on Vimeo.

Just to clarify - it was not our decision for my husband to come home from deployment early. The Chief of the Unit determined it to be in the best interest of the military and our family, after doctors discovered a potentially life threatening pregnancy complication. We are extremely lucky and thankful that God placed us in a position to have a Chain of Command who truly puts family first

Homecoming 2010

It was everything I imagined it would be and more.  Homecoming day has come and gone and I can truly say I am just so thankful to have him home again.  Home... where I can hug him, kiss him, and just spend time with him whenever I want, with no one interrupting us and no waiting in line for his time!

I was extremely nervous to see him on the day he came home.  It was so much like the anticipation I felt going on our first date, after having only talked to him online -  I knew we hit it off online, but I couldn't help but wonder how things would be in person.  This time, I knew he loved me and I loved him but I couldn't help but wonder how we each had changed in person and how we would react to each other's changes.  The day had finally come and despite all the nerves, I was just excited that my husband was finally coming home to me!!

I got to the airport plenty early, so nervous his plane would land early and he would be waiting for me rather than me waiting for him.  I was relieved and then instantly even more anxious when I got there and his plane hadn't come in. The flight number on the screen was different than what he had told me. He had called me when he landed in DC early in the morning, but I hadn't heard from him once he got to Chicago so I was worried he never made it or something had happened with his flights and he wouldn't be arriving on time.

I didn't have to wait too long before I saw him coming through the security doors.  I felt myself instantly light up and it was as if a thousand pounds of weight had been lifted from my shoulders as I ran to him and was wrapped up tight in his arms.  If the people in the airport noticed, I had no clue because in that moment it was if everything else just faded away and we were the only two people on the planet.  I was finally in his arms and there was absolutely no better place to be!  So far, there is nothing in life that has compared to this moment... it was amazing!  The next hour passed in a blur of hugging, kissing, holding hands and eventually getting his baggage from baggage claim and heading to the car to finally head home again... together.  After 8 crazy months, our first deployment journey is finally over!

Deployment Video from The Highleys on Vimeo.

Just to clarify - it was not our decision for my husband to come home from deployment early. The Chief of the Unit determined it to be in the best interest of the military and our family, after doctors discovered a potentially life threatening pregnancy complication. We are extremely lucky and thankful that God placed us in a position to have a Chain of Command who truly puts family first

Internet Woes

I have so much to blog about... but unfortunately, despite having technicians out here on 2 separate occasions we still do not have decently working internet.  They have promised us (yet again) that the next time they come out they will have the proper modem to get our internet up and running and that this will really be the last thing we have to do (except for potentially upgrade our existing router to something else that works better with the new modem we had to purchase) to get things going again.  At this point, my faith in this company is fading and I'm especially growing tired of their poor customer service after the technician today made it clear that he was here as a favor to us on his day off (um, you really aren't doing us a favor since you didn't bring the tools required to complete the job!) and he would rather have just stayed home.  However, I do hope that they will get things back up and running sooner rather than later....

In the meantime, I got our homecoming photos back from the photographer today and let me tell you...  I am so glad that we have these moments captured forever.  Here's a sneak peek at some of the photos from that very special day.  Cross your fingers, I'll be back with plenty to blog about VERY soon!

  

Internet Woes

I have so much to blog about... but unfortunately, despite having technicians out here on 2 separate occasions we still do not have decently working internet.  They have promised us (yet again) that the next time they come out they will have the proper modem to get our internet up and running and that this will really be the last thing we have to do (except for potentially upgrade our existing router to something else that works better with the new modem we had to purchase) to get things going again.  At this point, my faith in this company is fading and I'm especially growing tired of their poor customer service after the technician today made it clear that he was here as a favor to us on his day off (um, you really aren't doing us a favor since you didn't bring the tools required to complete the job!) and he would rather have just stayed home.  However, I do hope that they will get things back up and running sooner rather than later....

In the meantime, I got our homecoming photos back from the photographer today and let me tell you...  I am so glad that we have these moments captured forever.  Here's a sneak peek at some of the photos from that very special day.  Cross your fingers, I'll be back with plenty to blog about VERY soon!

  

Getting Married... Take 1

I love you babe!
I'm so lucky to be your wife!
I know I thought you were being insanely silly when you made this video on the way to our small wedding...
It's perfect though.  Thank you!
From really far away, you're still the best one at putting a smile on my face!

Getting Married - the first time from The Highleys on Vimeo.

Like a lot of military couples, we technically have 2 wedding anniversaries.
Today we celebrate 2 years of legal marriage.
We never really make a big deal out of today, but choose to quietly celebrate the special day.
I plan to do a bigger post about our love story and a look back at the last couple years next month, 

 for our "big" wedding anniversary.

Getting Married... Take 1

I love you babe!
I'm so lucky to be your wife!
I know I thought you were being insanely silly when you made this video on the way to our small wedding...
It's perfect though.  Thank you!
From really far away, you're still the best one at putting a smile on my face!

Getting Married - the first time from The Highleys on Vimeo.

Like a lot of military couples, we technically have 2 wedding anniversaries.
Today we celebrate 2 years of legal marriage.
We never really make a big deal out of today, but choose to quietly celebrate the special day.
I plan to do a bigger post about our love story and a look back at the last couple years next month, 

 for our "big" wedding anniversary.