Writers Block

There are tons of things I could blog about today...

Like which baby products are on my wish list and why I will probably not fork out the cash for them despite their neat qualities and cool features and the fact that I must have watched the product videos at least 100 times each.  I convince myself daily that money is just paper and some things are worth the extra money spent, and then the practical side of me kicks in and talks myself out of the very things I just decided we must have because instead of buying "stuff" we could go do something, like visit family with that money.  I'm a research freak and I must research every aspect of any moderately large purchase... so instead of blaming my inner "queen of being cheap" maybe that's my real excuse for why I have not purchased a single thing for the baby yet.  Besides, time on my "waiting to find out the gender" excuse is running out!  Only a few more days until we know!

I could talk about my personal debate on whether or not to go with cloth diapering, making my own baby food, and turning into the "crunchiest" mama that I could possibly be... the pros, the cons and why I'm no longer sure what I will end up doing, despite knowing what my heart wants to do and still blog-stalking my favorite crunchy mama friends wanting to be more and more like them.  I have all kinds of crunchy tips saved away in my endless file of internet favorites just begging for this baby to born so I can put them into practice!  The question remains...  will I go crunchy?  Will we homeschool as I once was sure I wanted to?  Will I go back to work or stay home?  Just when I make up my mind...  the crunch disappears and it seems like it is only a dream that just won't fit our life no matter how hard I try.  I'm pretty stubborn though, as my husband points out and I don't usually quit when someone says "you cant..."  Instead, I become inspired to prove that I absolutely can.

I just spent a good hour digging through my external terabyte reminiscing about the beginning of summers past and how different this summer is starting and will turn out to be, so I could share my thoughts on that and bore you with tons of old photos and stories of adventures from my crazier years and somehow type myself through figuring out how to make this summer special in its own unique and different way.  I could also tell you that last night as I sat outside I really wanted to write a letter of complaint to military housing because it was perfect weather for laying in a hammock and I am convinced it would having completely taken away all of my symptoms but there are no trees in our back yard from which to tie said hammock, so of course... this remains only a pipe dream and I will have to settle for an uncomfortable patio chair with my feet propped up on the table.  (Yes that photo to the left is one of those old photos -- taken summer 2006 in San Tropez, France.)

It's been an eventful week pregnancy/HG wise and I could share about the struggle to get home health to deliver more than one days medication/fluids at a time and the reason why I think my scale is a liar. I could also share why my new nickname might as well be "Dora", or share the best PICC line cover that I have ever come up with (as of last night, anyway).  I'm so incredibly inspired to give back to others by telling my HG story and helping those who don't have as many resources within their reach as I have found. I could go on forever about how no women should have to get to the desperate point of being faced or pressured into having an abortion because they feel so miserable.  Oh and yes, I will probably get pregnant again, even if it means going through every second of this and more all over again... though that is a blog post that will probably stir up more controversy than I care to deal with right now.

The blessing of running my own photography "business" is that I am my own boss and I have the ability to say when I work or don't work.  I couldn't imagine having to try to hold down a real job while being this sick.  I did have an opportunity to take some pictures recently and despite having to change my technique a little to accommodate my current state, it felt so good to have that camera in my hands and feel like a photographer again.  I could probably go on forever about my love of photography, the fact that I am STILL trying to complete the classes I started with NYIP, and my huge wish list of shots I want to take around this area now that it's finally warm again.  In light of my old trusty camera's recent breakdown I could probably write a book on my new internal debate of switching from Canon to Nikon when I finally break down and buy an upgrade, and the sequel to that book would be my debate of staying with natural light or learning flash photography so I can expand and have even more shooting opportunities - and are those same opportunities available if I don't go with flash?  I told you it would be a book... maybe more like an encyclopedia of internal photography debates!

Then there is the military part of our life.  It would probably do my heart good to vent and rant a decently long blog post about my thoughts on the military and how it may throw a huge wrench into our not-so-far-from-now plans.  However, it's still within the 48 hour policy that my husband and I have.  According to this policy, I have 48 hours to throw the biggest temper tantrum I want before I have to find some big girl panties, pull them up and deal with things.  It is probably in everyone's best interest if I refrain from blogging about the military's affect on our life and our plans until my 48 hours of acting like an immature child are over.  Really.  I promise you don't want to hear it until I put on my grown up attitude about it.

See?   I have plenty of ideas floating around in my head but none of them are really appealing to me right now as I sit here trying to compose a blog post of interest to someone other than myself.  So instead, I'm going to take my presently whining puppy outside for a potty break and enjoy a few moments of soaking up the sun on this first official weekend of summer.

Maybe inspiration for something interesting will strike soon...  and if not, well I guess you'll know when you come back to this blog and find me rambling on about one of my writers block topics won't you!

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